Life Lessons

-- Life Lessons #790 -- Kix are very hard to eat with chopsticks, Cheerios on the other hand are quite easy.

-- Life Lessons #791 -- Never, and I mean NEVER, leave your door cracked open in the least while you are changing when there are Mazoku lurking around your house.

-- Life Lessons #792 -- Strip poker is fun...especially when the guy losing happens to be your favorite bishounen.

-- Life Lessons #793 -- If you ever wake up to find a certain purple-haired priest hovering over your bed, remember those Magick Seal Plug-ins need to be changed every 30 days.

-- Life Lessons #794 -- Don't mess with Zelgadis Graywords' morning coffee. Just. Don't.

-- Life Lessons #795 -- Never hide a chimera's sword just to see him turn red with anger, usually you turn blue from lack of oxygen first.

-- Life Lessons #796 -- Ditto #795 for a certain Mazoku priest's staff, only instead of turning blue you go *BOOM*.

-- Life Lessons #797 -- People look at you very strangely when you try to open a locked door by shouting, "Fireball!"

-- Life Lessons #798 -- Separate a chimera and his coffee maker and he'll chase it around the world and back. You'd better not be there when he gets back.

-- Life Lessons #799 -- Lina Inverse can be very irritable in the morning, especially if you wake her up by saying, "Luna's here to see you, Lina-chan."

-- Life Lessons #800 -- When destroying an enemy, never pause to shout the enemy's name or you're doomed. Example: "I'm here to kill you, Lina Inverse!" *BOOM*

-- Life Lessons #801 -- Heero Yui has a very high pain threshold not because of his ability to self-destruct, but because wearing spandex shorts really does hurt after awhile.

-- Life Lessons #802 -- Calling yourself The God of Death in anime makes you popular, calling yourself the God of Death in real life makes people afraid of you.

-- Life Lessons #803 -- Never try to bring justice to an unjust society via longwinded speeches, people develop very good aim in a very short period of time.

-- Life Lessons #804 -- Talking about having voices in your head and joking about them makes you funny, talking to the voices in public and joking with them makes you a schizophrenic.

-- Life Lessons #805 -- Gundams are cool. Owning one would be cooler. Don't try to turn your parents' car into one or they get mad.

-- Life Lessons #806 -- Blasting music out of your car makes people think you're a delinquent, blasting Japanese music out of your car and singing along with it makes people avoid eye contact with you.

-- Life Lessons #807 -- I learned (from a fan-doujinshi) that the easiest way to get rid of telemarketers is to tell them, "Omae o korosu."

-- Life Lessons #808 -- If you answer the phone with "Lina Inverse, stop throwing fireballs around the house" people learn not to call you anymore.

-- Life Lessons #809 -- Take it from Xelloss, insanity is *fun*.

-- Life Lessons #810 -- People really get interested in "Life Lessons" if you bug them about it enough.

-- Life Lessons #811 -- Maniacal laughter ala Naga The White Serpent in the hallways of your school echo in the best way. Especially when people hear you, then you can see them walk past you in fear.

-- Life Lessons #812 -- People become very afraid of you after you write more than five Life Lessons like these.

-- Life Lessons #813 -- Having a long braid is very fashionable, as long as people don't try to choke you with it.

-- Life Lessons #814 -- The hall closet is able to support many people living within it. Including tables, beds, couches, card houses, card garages, card spas, etc.

-- Life Lessons #815 -- Every time I try to write the number 5, I write 6 instead...which means every single one of these damn Life Lessons with a 5 had to be rewritten...

-- Life Lessons #816 -- HAH! A SIX!! DAMMIT A SIX!

-- Life Lessons #817 -- Calling your car Shinigami (God of Death) draws unwanted attention to your mental state.

-- Life Lessons #818 -- Petting pictures of Heero is just...wrong. Petting a person with a Heero-ish personality is just damn freaky.

-- Life Lessons #819 -- Finals...I wish they were alive so I could Dragon Slave them into non-existence.

-- Life Lessons #820 -- A time machine would be very handy. Travel the world, see the sights, kill the people who invented Algebra...

-- Life Lessons #821 -- Having Zelgadis Graywords as a travel companion would be very cool...unfortunately you'd have to get past the "I'm not talking to you" stage with him.

-- Life Lessons #822 -- Kamui Shiro is cool. Fuuma Monou is cool. Seishirou Sakurazuka...he's a god.

-- Life Lessons #823 -- Subaru Sumeragi...He's. Damn. Hot.

-- Life Lessons #824 -- Pentagrams are cool and evil. Zelas uses pentagrams. Phibby-chan uses pentagrams. Pretend you're one of them by using a pentagram and people stare at you.

-- Life Lessons #825 -- (..damn...fives..) It's unhealthy for someone to run into the street screaming about how Operation Meteor is coming...the men in white coats can arrive *really* fast.

-- Life Lessons #826 -- Never pretend you're hacking into something at school, people actually take you seriously for that one.

-- Life Lessons #827 -- Never hide secrets from a Mazoku, he has a hell of a lot more than you do anyway.

-- Life Lessons #828 -- Usually the more evil a Dark Lord is, the cuter/hotter he will be.

-- Life Lessons #829 -- Heero was being very swift when he said, "Dying hurts like hell."

-- Life Lessons #830 -- The word 'man' and 'popsicle' should never be used together at 4 AM when watching the RG Veda anime with an insane cousin.

-- Life Lessons #831 -- If a theoretical house is burning and you're allowed to take one thing out with you, be smart. Take the insurance policy.

-- Life Lessons #832 -- Ever wonder how Trowa or Zelgadis is able to look directly at the sun? Here's your answer: Bangs are built-in sun visors.

-- Life Lessons #833 -- Tight pants really hurt even if you're not a guy. ...Poor Van Fanel.

-- Life Lessons #834 (a)-- Trying to vanquish your enemies by screaming "Ra Tilt" at them works in Slayers, here it only serves to get your @$$ kicked.
-- Life Lessons #834 (b)-- Chanting the Ra Tilt under your breath doesn't intimidate people in this realm, they only look at you funny and ask, "What the hell are you saying to me?"

-- Life Lessons #835 -- The Tree is cool. If you don't give it what it wants, it eats you. ^_^ (Seishiro-san...)

-- Life Lessons #836 -- CLAMP guys have big everything. Big shoulders, big eyes, big feet, big hands, big..um....*blush*

-- Life Lessons #837 -- Asking someone to heighten your pain threshold by beating on you once a day is a good idea... until they actually do it.

-- Life Lessons #838 -- The snack food Pocky(tm) is not just universal, it transcends dimensions.

-- Life Lessons #839 -- Zelgadis Graywords is one of the most *fun* people to poke fun at (thanks to Hsiu-Hsien-Ko for that one).

-- Life Lessons #840 -- Let Rezo be your hair stylist and your house plants will end up with very nice perms. (Thanks again to Hsiu-Hsien-Ko)

-- Life Lessons #841 -- If you can't date the man you love, shove your hand through his chest then date his eye. It all rounds out. (added 4/12/02)

-- Life Lessons #842 -- Always remember when placing wallpaper on the family computer desktop that the family WILL be seeing it.

-- Life Lessons #843 -- Learned from K of Gravitation: "Speak loud and carry a Big Gun." You'll nearly always get your way.

-- Life Lessons #844 -- It's the most random things that bring people together: a word, an event, the Apocalypse.

-- Life Lessons #845 -- No matter what happens the Apocalypse will never come. Especially if a manga says the world ends in 1999 and it's now 2002.

-- Life Lessons #846 -- People may say they love everyone, but we all know it's the quiet ones who go berserk first.

-- Life Lessons #847 -- Cynics are fun to have around until they corrupt the entire group. Then they lose their uniqueness.

-- Life Lessons #848 -- Cynicism is like stick art; beautiful and under-appreciated.

-- Life Lessons #849 -- No matter what, whenever you become attached to the hottest bishounen in a show, they get killed off in the first episode you actually SEE them in. Poor Ernest.

-- Life Lessons #850 -- Touma Seguchi is the perfect cross between Nokoru and Wing Zero Quatre, with a silce of Obsession thrown in. Not that we mind.

-- Life Lessons #851 -- If the year is now 2003 and the filler characters are still getting picked off ONE AT A TIME, the Apocalypse is never coming.

-- Life Lessons #852 -- If you're going to get attached to genderless bishou-people make sure they don't have a death wish.

-- Life Lessons #853 -- Wishes are screwed up things.

-- Life Lessons #854 -- If a teacher neglects to mention how hard the final will be and you stress out and study for three hours a night or more for several nights in a row, chances are the final will be easier than snot and make you cry.

-- Life Lessons #855 -- If you want a really good laugh, tell a Buffy fan that James Marsters is coming to town. Then run - those fangirls can be violent.

-- Life Lessons #856 -- DO NOT DISS THE LORD OF THE RINGS IN MY PRESENCE.

-- Life Lessons #857 -- All the J-rockers smoke. Get over it. *sniffles*

-- Life Lessons #858 -- It's cool to be an elf. Spiffy clothes. Nice hair. Kick butt weapons and the skills to boot.

-- Life Lessons #859 -- Tsuzuki and Hisoka will forever be stuck in Gensoukai, even after the Apocalypse comes - which is never.