Thursday 30 March 2004
BGM: Crucify my Love, X/Japan

I acted like an ass tonight. ._. I feel really bad about that and want to apologize to anyone who might read this because I was a royal pain and I shouldn't have been. No excuses, I just shouldn't have acted as I did.

And then I gacked this from linadarkstar.
I adopted a cute lil' death fetus from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

There's a pirate one and a scotsman one...and a ninja. I should adopt the ninja and the pirate together. Maybe they'll make beautiful pirate-ninja baby fetuses.

Or they'll just ooze. Eh.

Tomorrow: Project for Core due, Essay for Asian Traditions to write, Kanji quiz to take.

Sunday 28 March 2004
BGM: Only Got One, Frou Frou

Going to the Renaissance Faire down here in SoCal later on this year sometime with a bunch of friends. Or so the plan goes. Benj and I are buying/constructing our costumes already and I'm going as a pirate, Benj as a gypsy. xD These outfits so rock hard. Ebay is sucking the life out of me because I'm buying/looking up most of my costume there. I realize that I already have the pants (from the Taiki outfit, w00t!), the shirt from Ross, the boots from Mom (has roses on it though. O.o So I might end up looking like a gay pirate. >D ), and lots of jewelry. Now all I need is a dark red sash and bandana and hair jewelry which I may just make. Ended up buying a replica elven dagger from LotR on eBay for 15$ in order to have a weapon to carry around. Mm...dagger. All I need now is a side pouch. o-o Must look for that. xD

eBay is the DEVIL. It also has the full finger armor rings so popular in the GothLoli bibles. XO WANT.

Also need a pouch. Have said materials to make a pouch... Hm... fun.

Currently working on reading through Asian Traditions homework. Will get to DA and emails soon. x_X

Thursday 25 March 2004
BGM: My Immortal, Evanescence

Going in Japantown AGAIN this Friday because my school observes Cesar Chavez Day. And again I have a list of things to buy. Yosh.

1) Chrno Crusade manga 2-5 or 6. ...just ALL of it. *_* Want.
2) Grape candy, Naruto figurines, Copic multiliner (black) for a friend
3) Drinks, again - only now Pokari Sweat and green tea
4) Shoujo Kakumei Utena 5
5) Calpis water for mah Benji

I'm bringing my parasol to Japantown, screw tanning. Need to look into buying a fridge/microfridge. Bugger me for not doing it today. I ended up skipping my two PE classes because I've been so dead tired lately and I slept for a good hour to hour and a half. One of those deep even when you wake up you're still sleeping sort of sleeps. It was...well...effective.

I can't wait for April now. X3 The April layout for PS is done and I like it even if it is crack. XD Is pretty~ Or so I think and my opinion matters since it's...uh... my blog? O-o I dunno.

It's Thursday. Damn, when did that happen? O.o

Tuesday 23 March 2004
BGM: Illness Illusion, Gackt

I had the Japanese midterm. I fucking hated the Japanese midterm.

Meaning I'm back at school after my Spring Break (pardon my bad language up there, but my blog nyah) and I'm still tired. Working on the April layout for PS, who knows if it'll actually work. I'm napping now. xD NAP. With my Emperor Penguin Plush of DOOM. I love my plushie.

Saturday 13 March 2004
BGM: Once Upon a December, Anastasia

It's the end of the week - finally. Things have settled on campus, but it's different now. I'm hoping people realize that understanding is needed, not anger. But the week is over and it's time to move.

I'll be gone for the week - not really, but that sounds good doesn't it? It's Spring Break and I'm going home, will be back in the fog and lovely non-sunny of CenCal starting Sunday. Mm...fog. It's been too goddamn sunny in SoCal lately. Ew...sun.

Going into LA today with Benji and Alix, a good way to start before the break. Things I'm looking for with staunch determination:
1) Mermaid Scar by Rumiko Takahashi
2) Tare Panda gear
3) Copic multiliner pen set
4) Japanese umbrella

First two are for a friend, final two are because I'm an art geek and because I hate the sun. o_o; Then tonight it's time for RPs and cleaning up the mess that is my room. Laundry that needs to be done and packing too. Mm...ew. Packing.

I also realize that today, my learner's permit expires. Huh.

Wednesday 10 March 2004
BGM: Leeca, Gackt&Yoshiki

I'm sorry that this has to be my first entry in a long time, if you want happier things check the LJ.

I just can't believe it. It's the beginning of a new millenium, gay marriages are happening in the name of love without boundaries, people are just starting to get over the idiocies of the early years... and then there are hate crimes.

At my college.

The most serious one by far just happened tonight and involved a teacher who spoke out against the racism and bigotry that was gaining more and more attention on the 5-College campus (I belong to a consortium). She went back to her car and found the windows smashed, things stolen and the following words and symbols spray-painted everywhere on it:

Bitch, Shut up, Nigger Lover, Kike Whore, and an attempt at a swastika.

The entire 5-C campus is shaken and forums and meetings ripped through, rousing people out of bed to get down to the local college coffee house for the discussion at 12:30AM. I just don't understand why... Why people have to hate so much and now I'm afraid that there will be reverse discrimination yet again to the Caucasian students because the students who perpetrated the crime have not been caught and people are assuming they were white. I'm afraid for the people of color on my campus and for the white students because I don't want to see them pit themselves against one another when we really need to come together. There's been anger flowing about how it wouldn't have garnered such attention if the teacher hadn't been white (in fact she was apparently Jewish) and that just isn't right. It doesn't matter that she was white or not - IT NEVER SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED.

All of my classes tomorrow are cancelled and I fear that my college's president will get unnecessarily assaulted by other students about things. She's trying her best and people just don't understand because they can't see for their anger. I'm angry too, I'm saddened and frightened of what happened because it wasn't just about race - it was about voicing opinion that racism is wrong and that change had to be initiated. I'm apprehensive for the ripples of discontent that are flowing through the campus and the idea that this is going to be televised... The college is a good environment and the press we'll be getting is completely negative.

I don't understand why people do this. Why they have to hate people so much... I'll be wearing all black tomorrow, probably my Grim Reaper outfit or something. And I'll be going to rallies and things.

Because somewhere the hate has to stop, the blatant flinging about of race has to stop.

As long as we bring attention to the fact that we're minorities, we will always be minorities.

And sometimes, even a small voice can make a difference.

Dad, Mom, if you read this before tomorrow - I'm calling you guys to talk about it.

Wednesday 3 March 2004
BGM: Virtual Star Hasseigaku, Utena

So I just came back to the room after a tiring yet fun day of classes and fencing/archery/choir. And I was all set to sit down and read the (evil) Tale of Genji and maybe listen to some Utena music.

And then I got to the room.

The furniture's been moved and I don't know why or by whom. Assumedly Maintenance moved things around, but there's no note and no little "by the way, we stopped by" message anywhere. Just things moved. It's unsettling and a little scary because, dammit - if someone can get into my room without my knowledge, I'm going to get pretty darn paranoid. x_X Make it stop. Luckily none of my stuff is missing and they didn't red-tag me for having my shrine set up since it requires incense and that sort of thing is technically illegal. But it's religious so I figured it'd be okay. ...or something. Anyway, am somewhat freaked. O.o

Oh and Chrno Crusade - O_O LOVE. XD

26 February 2004
BGM: none

Currently downloading all of Getbackers and most of Chrno Crusade. Casey said it was tasty goodness so I'm going to get it. I should look for Last Exile as well. And when I start an entry using anime, you know what's coming next. That's right a mini-review!

Paranoia Agent Currently episodes 1-3 are out, while 4 is being distributed by [l33t-raws]. I'm still not entirely sure what this series is about (I have only really had time to watch the first episode), but it looks really interesting. In the first place it's about a toy designer and this random kid who apparently beat her over the head with a golden bat and rides around on golden colored roller blades. No, that's not actually the premise, but it's interesting because a lot of the series revolves around what people say and what they think. Very cool in my opinion. Nice animation as well.

Sotsugyou M OVA 1 This has been out for a LONG time, but someone finally fansubbed it. Now only if they would bring out more. I adore SotsuM and if you haven't read the manga yet, go get it. Yukiru Sugisaki art (early years, however) and just a generally cute storyline. I get a kick out of watching the OVA because so many famous people are in it - including Midorikawa, who is, as all of you know, my GOD. xD

Saint Beast I need episodes 2 and 4, if you have them I'll love you forever. This series is horrible - nothing but fanservice, but do you think I mind? No. Why? It has Midorikawa AND Ishida being smexy evil angels. I would marry them both if I could and if they weren't already taken. xD It's completely cheesy and horrible - really really bad, but there's hinted yaoi and crack, so you again - mm..tasty.

Series I Generally Recommend
- Juuni Kokki: This series is drawing to an end. I suggest you all run out and get it now because damn, this show rocks so hard.
- Kino no Tabi: Again, just in general go out and get this. The concept is amazing and I absolutely love Kino and all the plot twists. Go!
- R.O.D.: This is just fun - I'm downloading it on general principle because I watched a few of the early ones and it just kicked major arse.
- Sailor Moon Live Action: You all know you want to experience the extreme cheesiness of this. You do.
- Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy: Not anime, but still freaking cool. 6 episodes that are adapted from the BBC radio series adapted from the book by the late Douglass Adams. If you haven't read the book yet, go get it - it's a good read with great lines like "they hung in the air the same way bricks don't." Mm...Douglass Adams.

Oh and my roommates are moving out. To another room. Because they needed more space. ^^; I don't mind, it's just kind of funny to think that a lot of the appliances and whatnot here are going to be gone and the idea that I'll be the only person in a room made for a triple. I'll need to find a new mini-fridge or something. I'm not entirely worried because distance won't hurt the friendship we made, so it'll be cool.

If you want to know what's going on, I've actually been bad and updating the LJ more than this. x_X Geh geh. The link should be on the sidebar.

21 February 2004
BGM: Stay Away ~Truly Barbie Mix, L'Arc

I hate feeling helpless. No matter how much I try to tell other people to cheer up, I always end up feeling helpless in the end. I suppose certain people will never listen and I'll always stick myself out there to be burned over and over again. But they don't really care, do they...so long as they get attention from me.

It's times like these that make me want to quit. And sometimes I feel like I know that people are going to read this entry and that no one will reply.

18 February 2004
BGM: Cloudy with Occasional Rain, Lain

I expect to get a lot of angry people yelling at me after this. I do. And I don't really care at all. It pisses me off and I'm not about to pull my blows on this.

I recently received this from my college. While the incident didn't occur on my campus but on a neighboring campus (I'm in a consortium so all five colleges are within two minutes of each other by bike or walking), the very fact that people are getting so god-damned incensed over it just pisses me off.

As given to me by people who have too much time on their hands and far too much anger at the wrong people:

"On Friday, February 6, members of the Incident Response Team learned of a serious and offensive situation that included a new student organization utilizing a racist "prank" as part of their initiation process. Students wishing to gain membership to the organization known as "OAD" were given several tasks to complete. One option was to "take a photo with 10 or more Asians."

The Incident Response Team does not consider this task a "prank," but rather an assault on the entire College community. The potential of having numerous students run around campus trying to snap photographs with ten or more Asian or Asian American people is racist, offensive and in violation of shared community values at College. In the days following the discovery of this situation, several members of the Incident Response Team received feedback from Asian American students, expressing their anger, rage and fear of the thought of being treated like "zoo animals" and "rare specimens." Under no circumstances should any member of the College community be made to feel this way, particularly by an organization that is sanctioned by the college. Many student leaders who are not Asian or Asian American also explicitly expressed their outrage and fear for the safety of their fellow students in the days following this incident.

This is a painfully flagrant example of the objectification and exploitation of Asian Americans and their use as simple props for the amusement of a few."

First of all, I'm freaking ASIAN and I don't find it 'objectifying' or 'threatening' in any way. They wanted to take a bloody picture with you, not mount your head on a wall and paint "AZN TRASH" on your forehead. Secondly, I don't believe in race - it's a social construct that we continually reinforce because people just can't get over the idea that humans are inherently similar. We're not exactly the same, but we're pretty damn close. It shouldn't matter where you came from or what color your skin is, it's who is on the inside and what sort of person you are that really matters. If you were a saint, good for you - if you were an ass, no matter your race you'd still get your face smeared across the pavement by angry people.

And one of them would be me.

I'm just so damned tired of hearing the race issue that it's gotten to the point where I'm getting angry about it. LAY OFF. Yes, your people were oppressed and it's a huge ugly mark on society (whether it be slavery, internment, or genocide), but bringing it up over and over in such petty ways does NOT help the case.

I'm Asian and I think it's funny - taking a picture of me with ten of my friends? Sure, why the hell not? If it were 10 Caucasian people would anyone have cared? NO! And why? Because apparently reverse discrimination is a beautiful thing to these so called 'race activists.' And "explicitly expressed their outrage and fear for the safety of their fellow students"? WHAT SAFETY?! WHAT THREAT?! It's not like the camera is going to suck your soul out by taking your picture! It's a fucking camera, not a war machine!

You people who bring up race in every single freaking issue of the day, I have one thing to say to you:

Get a Fucking Life.

5 February 2004
BGM: Feel, Anathema

Well, it's official. I'm definitely asexual and I now know that I will never want to see a male body naked. Ever. The reasoning behind this is the fact that in my Queering Asian America class we had a guest lecturer and she showed us about 15 minutes worth of porn. Not only just porn (this being my first time ever seeing it at all) but a threesome involving a Female to Male (FtM, i.e. a transgendered person) and two genetic males. We analyzed the political parts of the film and then discussed sexuality in general, which I figured would happen sometime or another in this class. It was interesting to finally see what the media hypes up so much, but it only confirmed the fact that I cannot see what the big deal is about sex. I certainly wouldn't want anything like that near me and even imagining that I was involved with someone didn't make it any better.

The human body is utterly disgusting.

Otherwise, I'm trying to catch up with homework and ended up almost falling asleep in all of my classes. That really sucks. Oh well. Will be watching Battle Royale this weekend since one of the guys in my Japanese class lent it to me. So Benji and Hika and I might be watching it this weekend sometime. Next week is Parent's Weekend at my school so my parents are coming down. w00t!

5 February 2004
BGM: Drive [Acoustic], Incubus

So...realizing just now that I have a reccommendation to write for my peer mentor who absolutely rocks so that she can become a RA... Due... tomorrow. x_X Crack.

Otherwise, shot more stuff today (I write this while thinking that it is actually still Wednesday) and ended up getting three arrows in a straight vertical column all one right after the other. It was very cool. But a pain to pull out of the target, so we had to get the prof to do it. Yes, we have professors for physical education. I also received the fencing gear from Clovis-sensei and had fun in trying to advance, retreat, lunge and repost. It was fun, but the gear is really hot. ><

Otherwise, I'm behind on work but we all know how that goes. I'll end up catching up this weekend and get behind again and then catch up and die. ^_^ Fun with death. Tomorrow is a 8:10 to 9:25 class, then a 1:15 to 2:30 class, and then a 4:15 to 7:30 class. I am going to be VERY tired. x_X

3 February 2004
BGM: Barely Breathing, Duncan Sheek

So here's the newest layout - finally. Gah, I was starting to dislike the other one despite the fact that I still liked the image and layout design. Of course, then I bought a web design book over the Winter Break and it told me half my tags were deprecated, so that was fun. XD; I've been using the LJ more often because it's easier to update and I couldn't stand the old layout. Blah. I really need suggestions for good webhosting/domain services so I can get off Tripod. One person responded over at the LJ, but so far I've had no other suggestions. Please? Anyone?

I'll write a longer entry later on, I have class in about 17 minutes. Yes, I really am that anal about time. Queering Asian America, it's an interesting class which I have failed to do the reading for. Again. Damn. 16 minutes left now. Here's hoping the upload and everything of this new layout works. Technically I'm writing this entry while the layout is in its 'test' stage, just to see how it looks, but I am keeping it as the newest entry for the month of February after I disappeared for ALL of January. There are reasons for that, it will be explained. Not now.

Layout this time around features a really pretty scene from the doujin "Private Magician" and the two main characters Matthew and Natsuki. Matthew is some sort of spirit of the box and he's hornier than a rhino. Yay And in realizing that my parents know where this blog is and may possibly be reading this: Hi, Dad. Hi, Mom. ^_^

EDIT: Returned from class and am dead tired. I've been tired all weekend because I spent most of my nights having heated discussions and being yelled at, having tension in the room up the wahzoo, and then having to do homework rather than actually sleeping and studying. It's better now, but I never want to go through any of that again. Ever. This semester is really stressful seeing as my schedule consists of four academic classes, two PEs, and my choir class again. Monday through Friday. Monday and Wednesday are 9AM to 5:30PM days with no breaks whatsoever, while Tuesday Thursday are 8:10AM to 7:30PM days with some breaks in-between. Friday, my easy day is only one class at 11AM to 11:50AM. Then it's Oldenborg, i.e. Hell Incarnate, mostly for the bad food than the company there. The company is Heaven, the food makes me think we're all a bunch of fallen angels or something. Only I was never that good to begin with.

Fencing and Archery are fun, I'm enjoying them because one is a stabby class and the other is a "shot you chock full o' arrows" class. It feeds my violent tendencies. It is good. Japanese is easier this semester, Core sucks because I'm just not scientifically minded enough to do well in that class even though I love the course material, Asian Traditions has too much reading but it's an interesting history course, and Queering Asian America has the same problem. Love the class, hate the amount of reading we have to do within such a short period of time. It's too much compared to the rest of the work I already have to do, but what must be done is what must be done. As long as I don't fail, I'll have all but two of my GE requirements out of the way. And anyone not in college is probably not caring at this point, but it's my blog - blah.

Running some interesting RPs at the moment, wishing that another one would come back again but I don't know if I could handle all those RPs at once. x_X I'm multitasking, but not for four to five RPs at once. And if anyone has any suggestions or comments about my layout designs, please tell me - I'll never improve if no one critiques me. Just as a general note, my friend put up a list of AIM ettiquette guidelines that are really good. Read them. Boom. I'm done and off to do homework and try to sleep at the same time. I'll get back to you on how well that works.